sorry for the empty bucket.

An invitation to stay close to the vine, dwell deeper, and return to the rock.

I woke up at 12:14pm today.

I set 5 alarms, all before 9am so I could make breakfast, get ready for church and get out the door.

and that was not the case…

I slept through every alarm and woke up mid-afternoon with the sinking feeling that the day was completely wasted. And honestly - it was. I missed church. I missed the coffee before. I missed all the little, good things that Sundays usually hold.

I look forward to Sunday every week.

and would you believe me if I said that waking up early was one of my biggest New Year resolutions?

But why can’t I get it?

It’s the same question I ask in so many areas of my life - every dream, goal, and discipline.

I want it all to happen overnight. I spend hours perfecting lists, curating plans, budgets, visions… and yet I still can’t seem to get it.

When will it all just click?

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I almost didn’t even write today.

I have a rule set for myself that I can’t write on the days I feel dry, the days it feels forced, and like I am pouring out from an empty bucket.

That wouldn’t be good for anyone.

But today, even though the guilt was heavy and the weight of the world felt like it was on my shoulders, I felt the nudge to just be honest about the process of growing, dreaming, and becoming who the Lord has called me to be.

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Today I was encouraged by my great friend, Katelin as I was ranting about well, all the things I am writing about here and she said:

“intimacy with Him needs to come before productivity - remember to build the steady foundation with Him, before the house.”

ugh. don’t ya love it when your friends say just the thing you need to hear? (even when you don’t want to)

This reminded me of a passage near to both mine and Katelin’s heart - John 15:1-8

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. Every branch in me that does not produce fruit he removes, and he prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me. If anyone does not remain in me, he is thrown aside like a branch and he withers. They gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be my disciples.”

We literally cannot do anything without Him. Nothing good at least!

No habit, goal, dream, vision, characteristic is good without first abiding in Him - and apart from Him we cannot do anything.

My word for 2026 is, “Dwell” which according to the Merriam-Webster definition means:

• To live in or at a place; reside.

• To remain or stay for a time.

• To linger over or give prolonged attention to

To dwell is to remain in close, continual relationship - not rushing, not performing, but being present and rooted.

“To dwell is to choose presence before output,
foundation before the house,
abiding before fruit.”

This word kept popping up after a vision I had with the Lord - a house on the rock, a house built on the foundation He set in 2025, and a house that is established in Him.

And if I’m honest, I don’t think I fully know how to dwell yet. One bad morning, and the guilt eats me alive, shame sets in, and disappointment in myself grows.

But I guess that’s the whole point, my expectations are still often built on my own idea of what it looks like to grow, be, and become. not truly built on Him.

“Christ is my firm foundation
The rock on which I stand
When everything around me is shaken
I’ve never been more glad

That I put my faith in Jesus
‘Cause He’s never let me down
He’s faithful through generations
So why would He fail now?
He won’t

I’ve still got joy in chaos
I’ve got peace that makes no sense
So I won’t be going under
I’m not held by my own strength

‘Cause I’ve built my life on Jesus
He’s never let me down
He’s faithful in every season
So why would He fail now?”

- Firm Foundation, Cody Carnes

This is not a post written after completion, after I got it and am ready to share how I did it and what not.

This is simply where I am today: learning how to dwell, how to grow, and how to just be with the Lord. Taking the pressure off myself.

Because I can’t do it without Him anyways, and honestly I don’t want to.

My alarms, lists, hacks, and resolutions - they’re all “branch activity.” Branches don’t generate life; they receive it. And that’s exactly what I’m learning: my frustration isn’t failure, it’s clarity. Effort alone doesn’t produce fruit. Dependence does.

Waking up late, feeling dry, missing church - these are all moments where pruning and abiding meet. John 15 reminds me that the Father isn’t a taskmaster - He’s a gardener. Pruning feels like loss, interruption, or disappointment. But it’s not punishment - it’s preparation for fruit. The moments that feel unproductive can be clarifying, showing me where I need to stay connected, not push harder.

Even when I feel empty, like my bucket is dry, I don’t need to force the fruit.

And that’s the rhythm I want to carry into 2026. Intimacy with Him needs to come before productivity. Foundation before the house. Presence before output. Abiding before fruit.

I don’t need to “get it” today. I just need to remain. I just need to dwell. That’s where the fruit begins and true life in Him grows!

So if you’ve had a day like me, or maybe you’re feeling dry, missing the marks you set for yourself, wondering when it will click - you are not alone.

Maybe today wasn’t wasted at all. Maybe it was an invitation - not to try harder, but to stay closer. Not to build faster, but to dwell deeper. Not to rush the house, but to return to the rock.

And maybe that’s enough for today!